Chilly Christmas Eve...in kansas

I am a big lover of christmas eve...and i love that it is the evening that we do our present exchange with mark's family...the girls are just so much fun...and journey is just the perfect age for christmas...she is so excited...and is just so full of energy...love it...felicity has no idea...but i know she must feel the excitement with all the lights and the added energy that her older sister journey provides to us all...i hope you all have a wonderful cristmas eve as well...and you all get to spend it with your family as well :)

SO Love my Daughter :)

She is just a gift....she is a fighter...a will to live since the day she was born...she is perfect and she is my daughter...i see so much of my grandmother in her...the love the strength...so far wiser than her years...and just beautiful...since she was able to talk...i think she has known my heed for her..as she made me a promise to never leave me...and she has held true to her word...a long time ago a very wise woman that i did her hair... miss irene boston...told me that no parent should ever out live their child...michelle is that miracle baby...who keeps beating the odds...she is so lucky to have a dad that stood by her side and rubbed her feet...when i just could not...and a brother that took the time to teach her so much ...to hold a spoon...to sit ...to crawl and to walk...her brother mark has always been there... he knew when i was at my breaking point...she could be a handful...a good handful...and now she is paying him back...cause she is the perfect aunt mimi for his two little girls....they keep her on her toes for sure...i love my daughter with all that is in me...she is just a very good thing...and simply the best :) enjoy your day all ...

Call it catching up saturday....

my things that i love or make me happy ...have gotten away from me...partly because i am so busy...my granddaughters take a lot of my time....which is a good thing...this time of the year is a busy one for everyone...and the last few days my baby maxi has been sick...so the morning was spent at the vets...all will be well soon ... a change in her diet...and the vet feels that she may be stressed...she helped me when i was at my wits end ..i will be there for her :) Now on to the things that make this old lady happy..... Dec 11...i love white t-shirts with my jeans...both long and short sleeved Dec 12...i love white leather tennis shoes...with my jeans and white t-shirts...although i have worn some funky colors in tennis shoes recently...for the last 6 months i have been a shoe tester...so i test what i am sent... Dec 13...my best friends...i have one here and we do not always get a chance to speak to each other...but when i need her ...she is always there for me...we both have always put our families first...so sometimes our calls are cut short...but we..are always fine with that...she is just awesome :) i have another best friend in md....always just a phone call away...and she and i share a past...funny to think about sometimes...the things we did...the guys we dated...the choices we made...and why...and how those choices once again...keep our friendship tight... Dec 14...my hair dresser michele gage...always works me in...love my visits with her...she is just a wonderful person...thanks Sis ...for suggesting her.. Dec 15...being a ginny...got to go to my granddaughters pre-school play...went to her first ballet recital...she did an awesome job :) Dec 16...so glad alan chose the right company to work for...he brings a lot to the table...and they seem to be very happy with their choice in him... Dec 17...am so happy that my son mark got his dream job of teaching graphic design..and i feel he is a gift to his students...just like he is a gift to me...always love to see him... he is a good thing... Dec 18...i love my bed...alan built it it is beautiful and it is so comfortable...my bedroom is a happy place for me..it has many pictures that remind me of home :) Dec 19...this one is kind of odd for me to admit...i have driven many cars, trucks and jeeps over the years...but i have found myself lately to love driving a truck...not such a car person...i love our {alan's} truck...he has a company vechicle...so the truck was sad being parked in the garage...so i use it to keep it happy :) Dec 20...i love that my son's are grown up...and have found employment in the fields that they love and went to college for... Dev 21...i love getting packages from home...they always smell like home...and that is a good thing... Day 22...i love having a good vet...that is always so willing to work with me...and i can not forget...the wonderful groomer that i have found for maxi...maxi loves her that i can tell...she does a great job on her...and i trust her with maxi...that is something that is earned...maxi is a big part of my heart...maxi kept me sane through one of the darkest times of my life...no one really can understand that...now that i am not as dependent on her...she is troubled by that...so i have to remember to be there more for her...even when i am busy...i will play needy.... see what i mean...catch up saturday...night all...off to do something with my family :)

VERY...VERY...cold monday

it was so cold here today...i just could not get warm...really having trouble to think of something to be happy... happy... happy... for...or something i love...today has just not found me in the best of spirits...not for any one reason...so i am happy that i do not have to be happy everyday and i am not afraid to say so...i am worried that my daughter is not getting well as soon as i had hoped...i am worried about a dear friend...it is ok...to have an off day...i will be that much happier when i have a happy day...so today i am happy about it being ok not to have a perfect day....now i hope all of you have had a happy day...luv just me :)

Cold and Windy Sunday...

It was getting cold yesterday as the temps fell through out the day...and the winds were picking...but I went out yesterday and decided to do some couponing ....which is one of the things that I love to do and makes me happy...I love to save money...I just wish I had taken a picture of my purchases...I went to dillions and wal-greens...... I did really well...I purchased: 2 cream cheese 18 count eggs 2 packs of nestle toll house cookies 92 count pack of huggies 4 red delicious apples dole salad mix 16 oz. cottage cheese 12 boxes of gel-pack finish {for the dishwasher} {2} 16 oz package of oscar meyer bacon {3} 50 count boxes of sandwich bags and I ended up making a profit of $26.00 by the time I was done...not too bad for an old lady...something I love to do...couponing...its a good thing :)

Love me a Quiet Saturday.....

I stay pretty busy no matter what day of the week it is...but today....nothing planned...no where I really had to go...so I stayed in for the most part...alan had to pick up something from ace hardware...and steam off an engine for a tractor re-build he is working on...so I rode with him and then ran in dillons to get some marshmallow whip so michelle could make some fudge today...she is still not feeling well and it is going on 6 weeks...but I do see some improvement in her today... I have kinda caught what my granddaughters have had....I will be fine ...I have no time to be sick...but I sure did enjoy my lazy saturday....a lazy day...it's a good thing...and I am hoping for a repeat tomorrow...happy saturday night all :)

Losing Weight...is it ever easy...what is the right way :)

Weight...never an easy topic or an easy way to do it...but for me in the end I did it my way... after moving to this house I was at my highest weight ever...I felt blah...I had 2 sons in college and one a senior in high school it was 2003...michelle was in 5th grade...it seems like forever ago...felt the empty nest coming...in more ways than one... we were home a lot the the next 5 years...even with extra weight I still could tackle any project...but 3 c-sections later the extra weight...the lonely times...I knew for the first time ever I needed to lose the weight somehow... we had good insurance...surgery was an option...I did consider...but I am not a surgery kind of girl...then in 2005 I had west nile...it hit me so hard...it was the roughest time ever... alan was gone so much then...michelle stepped up and really took care of me...when it was over...I knew the weight must come off...for some reason our scales did not go any higher 386 and I was to that point... I was never a big eater...I am a picker...while cooking I pick so that when dinner time came I was stuffed...I had to do that to get everyone fed...I also am a pepsi/mountain dew-aholic....I gave it up...started to eat better...started to walk ...and it worked ...I lost over 100 lbs in 2 years...my way and for me the right way... then in 2007 my daughter decided to change her way of life...she has just become so healthy over the last 5 years...and for me in total I have lost over 200 lbs...I could probably lose another 25-30 lbs to be the perfect weight...but I feel good where I am...I do not want to have to have surgery for any extra skin...so this is the weight I will stay...which is about 172....for me it is a good thing... my daughter is now a Zumba instructor and is making the plans to be come a personal trainer...and she is awesome...check out her blog at http://www.fitat17.blogspot.com/ .... I will say for me that losing weight and finding me...for me was a good thing :) have a great night....

Happy Thursday....

today is easy...things that make me happy and that I love...we bought it 7 years ago... our home...it was my dream home...I have always wanted a huge 2 story home...like the ones I gave the tours in for Old Princess Anne days...our home is not that old...but by kansas standards it is old...built in 1902...it has been a fun house to work with...as with our other homes that we purchased since moving to kansas..it was to be another flip...but we have stayed...we did put it on the market...as we were hoping to down size ...to a 1 story...and the last week it was on the market it almost sold...sort of glad it didn't..but sooner or later we will downsize...but for right now...were are just 2 blocks from our granddaughters and that works well for now for all concerned...and it is home...there have been some good times here and some bad...but it defines who I am and what I like... michelle has played a big part in the last three years of decorating our home and it works for us...right now it is decorated for the holidays...it is home and I love it...I am going to share with you some pictures of our home for the holidays...and I may post a picture of michelle's room...she designed and decorated it all by herself...even helping her dad re-purpose many pieces of the furniture she used in her room...enjoy and have a great evening :)

some people need to check their facts... :)

day 5 of things that make connie...happy... our president. I am proud of our president...this means a lot coming from me, having been a republican for 35 years...I voted for obama in 2008, then re-elected him this year... lets see...he ended the war in iraq, which was unnecessary and was based on lies...he is ending the war in afghanistan... his stimulus plan a few years ago helped alan out with his energy job... "obamacare" isn't welfare...each person buys their OWN health insurance...plus as a parent with a child that has a pre-existing condition, it means a lot to me...to know that my daughter won't be denied health coverage because of something that is out of her control... the cutting of defense spending is touchy but necessary...winding down the wars is the main reason why this is happening... I am really bothered when people post things without reading them or fact checking them...if you are going to take the time to post something online, please read it to make sure that it backs up what you are trying to say...so that you look like you know what the heck you are talking about, and not just talking out your rear... I hear stories on the news, and it has happened in the state of kansas, under BOTH republican and democrat presidents... where some towns are denied fema and others aren't...no one really knows why, there is a very strong possibility that it's the way the applications are put into fema, and in some cases some governors just don't want it... I don't just see why we cannot all just respect the fact that obama is our president...I saw statuses on election night and even the day after, of people who were saying that they are moving out of the country just because president obama was re-elected...funny thing is that what obama has done and is doing, will help them out so much in their lives... oh how are you doing this evening ...kim ;)

LONG...LONG...LONG...Tuesday.....

What a long day today was...journey is still not feeling well...and poor little felicity has the worse cold...and really is not happy to be put down at all...on top of that michelle is getting another bad cold...after being sick for the last 6 weeks...I want to see my girls start feeling better real soon :) on top of that as soon as kayla got here I had to go to our pharmacy...because they needed our new insurance cards...always something... now on to me...things that make me happy...alan had a check up today...and I know he was worried about his blood-sugar...but his A1 came back at 6.1...really really good...his change in his diet is still working well...but he has had some stress with his new job...but that has straightened out...he is staying very busy...which he loves and he loves what he is doing...I love that he is happy and that this job change was a good thing...for all...a great check up....now that is a good thing :)

Dec 3 and a Warm 75* in Kansas today.....

What a warm and sunny monday it was here in kansas today...and today's favorite thing is easy...it is actually 2 favorite things ....it is seeing the smiles of my 2 granddaughters on a monday morning...and knowing they are happy to come on their ginny days... journey is working on year five of staying with me and this year she goes to pre-school in the morning....and miss felicity is just starting year #1...and many people ask why do I keep them ...well...I love both of these girls from the top to the bottom of my heart...and I am sure there is good day care out there...you just never know...no one ...but no one will watch and care for them the way I do...and I believe their parents feel good in knowing that if they cannot be with them ...they are always in good hands here... I get them on their good days and their bad...both of their parents are teachers...they bring them when they are sick...knowing they will be watched and rocked all day ...not as good as their mommy can do ...but I run a close second... I also feel that not paying for the expense of day care...will help the girls in being able to be in extra activities....such as dance...private pre-school and getting projects done on their home...and let me say they have offered to pay...but as their ginny this is the way I want it... the girls feel safe here...as journey put it the other day when I picked her up and I said lets go home... she looked at me so funny..I replied to my house...and she looked at me and said...well that's almost home and then replied...but my house is bigger that yours...an ongoing joke between the two of us... our home is only 2 blocks from their new home...and only 1 block from where their mom teaches and I believe that is a good thing for all of us... sure there have been some rough times...but all in all it has worked for our family...I am also very lucky that michelle is around if I need an extra hand...michelle loves those girls just as much as I do...as I have said before...I love seeing them come in the morning and just like them... I can not wait until 3:30 to see their mom arrive to pick them up...these girls love their parents to pieces...but are content in spending their weekdays with ginny and if we are real lucky...they get to come over to visit their gaga on the weekends...since he misses them usually on the weekdays...all I can say is that I am hoping these girls and their parents will remember the ginny days and not prop me up in my later years with a wreath around my neck or put a santa hat on gaga...that would not be a good thing...now would it...night all :)

Oh...what a beautiful sunday in kansas :)

Day #2...things that I love that make me ...me... Sunday: December 02, 2012 Coffee...Sunday Paper...Coupons...Sale Ads...it is a good thing... I love sundays usually not a lot planned to do around here...so it is my catch up day...but my favorite thing is getting up on a sunday morning to my cup of coffee and my sunday paper...which usually has coupons in it and the sale ads...it is my time to think...what I did not say is that I make sure that alan is feed first and the dogs have their scrambled eggs before I have me time...and then I get laundry done and enjoy what ever comes next... today was a special treat as journey spent the morning here...she is usually at sunday school...but she had been up most of saturday night with a cold and her baby sister is not feeling so good either...we all enjoyed our time with her...her gaga does not spend as much time with her since his job...and they both miss that a lot...we had a good day around here...hope you all had a great day as well...and have a great upcoming week :)

It's a New blog....and I am Back

So you ask where have I been... I took a step back from my blog...one reason I had a stalker....very sad not going back into that...it's over...just was not sure if I wanted to keep this up... oh how i have missed my blogging...had the blog re-designed...love the new look...thanks michelle...I have also been adjusting to taking care of not one but both of my granddaughters...trips to pre-school...and so lucky that michelle has adjusted her schedule to watch the baby while I run back and forth to pre-school with journey...such a big help...but oh does it bring back memories of carrying little ones to school....a big commitment here in kansas...for parents and grandparents...another blog on that later... thanks for all the e-mails and messages about missing my blog...kind of nice...love all the hits it has gotten....while thinking of how to get back into this blog...I thought back to a question I have been asked several times... on facebook during november...many people gave daily run downs as to what they were thankful for...when asked why I was not doing that I thought...these people really do not know who I am...because if you did... you would know I try to make sure the people and things I am thankful know it and I do not have to express it to all of facebook... so today and every day through the month of december...I am going to take a page out of oprah's book...THINGS THAT MAKE CONNIE HAPPY...get to know me better...some days I may even tell you things that do not make me so happy...so let us begin... DAY 1 OF THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: Dec 1st: how else could it be anything other than maxi...my shih-tzu...it was 1 year ago today that she came into my life...it was one of my darkest days...I had just learned that I was more than likely facing many days and weeks in court due to the death of my neighbor ...and having to repeat over and over again ...a story I could not get out of my head...one so near to my heart... alan purchased her for me as a therapy dog...a dog that would be mine...yes we have other dogs that I love...but you know how you have those ones that are just yours...almost 5 years ago we had lost our akita...he was my dog...well maxi came into my life...and it just clicked...she knew from day 1 that I so needed her... she was 4 months old...I think the first couple of months...I almost rubbed all of the hair off of her...well as the months went on...things got so much better for me...no court...bill was able to spend the last few months of his life not in jail ...but with his brother in texas...he died last may... I will never forget that day june 26,2011...but I have closed that door...yes sometimes it creeps open...yes maxi is still right by my side...but now she seems to need me as much as I need her...but that is ok...I love the place that I am in right now...and she is not just my dog she loves alan ,my daughter michelle and she seems to love my granddaughter journey just like I do...she is not so sure about my newest granddaughter, felicity...but as soon as miss felicity gets mobile...that bond will form...I am sure of that...and I am so happy our other dogs love her too :) now maxi...that's a good thing....

just a beautiful day....but ...

but this debate has me in a knot...i so want obama to shine...yes shocking...i am a republican...but i will not help to elect mitt romney...i do not like him ...as a person...he just does not know middle america...i said that months ago and he has now said it himself...i know you should not judge ones religion...but i do not care for his religion...study it...it is just like a cult...it hurts people...i know...and if you want some honest points on this...read my blog ...i plan to throw some zingers on you over the next few weeks...if mitt can do it i can do it too...you know i have a daughter with a pre-existing condition...obama-care takes care of her on that and in the future...and her being on our insurance until she finishes her education and working on her business plan...is a good feeling for alan and i...she has jumped a lot of hurdles...she has earned this...with romneys plan ...she and many others will lose out...i have never had such strong feelings on an election ever...vented enough for tonight...i did get my hair cut and colored today....yes...surprise...surprise...i color my hair...felt good to get it done today...tomorrow is a big day around here ...journey turns 4....i can not believe how time has flown by...she is having a party at her pre-school in the morning...ears getting pierced in the afternoon...fingers crossed...and dinner and presents at gaga, ginny, and mimi's tomorrow night...good times :) enjoy the rest of debate....

Beautiful Tuesday in Kansas ...

What a beautiful day it is here today...where do i start...busy week here this week...busy month here...this is journeys birthday week...yes she will celebrate all week...love it...ending the birthday week on sunday with a doc mcstuffins birthday party on sunday... it seems a lot of my friends do not know what doc mcstuffins is...it is a new cartoon on the disney channel...it is about a little girl that fixes up broken stuffed animals...and it is so cute...so cute that michelle has informed me that she is more excited about the party than journey...lol... the little girl reminds me of journey because as much as journey plays with dolls...she has always loved her stuffed animals more than anything else...journey is going to be doc mcstuffins for halloween and her little sister felicity is going as lambie...doc mcstuffins favorite stuffed animal is a lamb named lambie...they will be so cute...pictures when available...for sure... the house is all decorated for fall...with halloween added in of course...feels good... it has been a long very hot...dry summer here...alan really seems to be enjoying his new job...he is very busy...and was so ready to get back in the rat race of the trade...he he loves a challenge... i am also looking so forward to the debate tomorrow night...and as many of you know...i will not change my mind...as much of a republican as i am...i WILL NOT vote for romney....i just do not like him at all...there is no way he can ever help the middle class...he has no idea...and does not even care...i said this from the start...and then he said it too...and the mormon thing...go study that religion....and make your choice...as i have said both my daughter and i have studied it years ago for personal reasons...all i can say is cult comes to mind..sorry these are my feelings and i can not change how i feel...just had to vent...sometimes it is hard to hold my feelings in...so this is my blog...i can vent if i want too...now i have to figure out what to do with the rest of my day...kind of a good feeling...go make it a great day...i am :)

TGIF...it's been awhile...i'm back :)

OK ...yes it has almost been a month...took a break...on aug 23...we welcomed a second granddaughter Felicity Anne Dykes...she is just beautiful...and a perfect fit...journey just loves her little sister...she has waited a very long time for her arrival...and i believe she is very happy with the outcome...i think she hit a couple of bumps in the road...come on it is hard having to share mommy...hard having a lot of company..all the time over a weeks period of time...all attention on the new sister... but her mommy did an awesome job working it all out with her cause it was never about her little sister...just different and changes all around...thanks to the best mommy around she has come though it as a super star... i told kayla just holler if you need a break...but she has not really needed me...but i am so lucky...i have been able to see the girls almost everyday and journey has still found time to spend with her old ginny and i hope that never changes... she has started pre-school and is now in dance and loves both of them :) wow ...she is growing up way too fast...and i swear felicity changes everyday...she looks a lot like journey in many ways...but different...i think the girls favor both of their parents...and both are beautiful... today is very cloudy and chilly here in kansas...first day i have put on a long sleeve t-shirt in awhile...my friend joann gave me a bag of apples...the house smells like fall...so far an old fashion apple cake has been pulled from the oven and 2 loaves of apple bread are baking now...sounds like i have been busy...NOT...Aunt MiMi is in the house and baking today...yes i am spoiled...kinda lazy this last couple of weeks and it feels good....no Aunt MiMi is not my hired helped...she is the best daughter ever...and yes if my stalker is reading this...it is all true...i am very lucky...been through a lot to get that way...but oh does it feel good to find yourself....and i did this through...a wonderful family and some very special friends...and you know who you are... i get journey this afternoon as her parents are going birthday shopping for her...cause on oct. 4...journey turns 4...going to go get ready for my little guest...have to make each visit special...keeps them coming back...you all have a wonderful afternoon and a great weekend :)

ALMOST TGIF... :)

A week of changes around here...as monday alan started a new job...in a way a big decision... but his job as an energy manager for the 3 cities was coming to an end...he was working on a 2 year grant and he knew that with money so tight that the odds were slim to none that they could afford to keep him on...although one of the cities did make him a wonderful job offer and it was so great of them...but he loves the HVAC trade....in it for almost 35 years...he really wanted a job that combined the HVAC and the energy management that he had received...and the state energy office was so proud he received certified energy manager status ...that they to wanted him to find this type of position...so april first resumes started going out...all of the job offers came from the east coast...as much as we loved the thought of moving home again...we could not even entertain the thought of leaving our soon to be 2 granddaughters...but you see right now there is a greater need to save on energy cost on the east coast as gas and oil prices are higher there...here we are blessed with natural gas...off topic i know but recently i was going threw an old box of canceled checks...over 15 years ago we were paying choptank electric more than i pay out here now for electric and gas...alan interviewed with a few companies around here...but all involved extensive travel...which is something he did not want to go back to...he became spoiled the last 2 years the farthest of the 3 cities he worked for was only 25 min. away...he was also told for every job he was applying for there were 300 other people applying for it as well....most of them under 26 years of age...after a lot of talking alan decided to accept the position one of the cities had offered and work there until he could retire...and then 2 weeks ago a company in wichita...called...a huge mechanical contracting co. that has a new division of energy management....and they really wanted alan...he had given up hearing from this co. ...it had been several moths since his app. was sent in...an employment agreement was reached...alan spoke to the city where he was employed...they were soo happy for him...which made him feel even better...he loved his 2 years as energy manager...but he was getting restless and it was time to go...and there is a lot better pay  and perks out in the private sector...but there was only one reason for alan...he missed his trade...so he is now...Alan Dykes, Certified Energy Manager and Manager of Service Operation...and last night when he got home...he said i really hate to say this but i so love my job...what a relief...i guess the only bad part is the 1 hour and 20 minute travel time both ways...upside...he is back in a company vehicle and company gas :)

 our middle son mark left his job at the county ...to begin a new career as a graphic design teacher...he has been at his job a couple of weeks ...and been a nervous wreck...driving his wife crazy...she is pregnant and due anytime...i have been afraid she was going to send him back home...hopefully that is behind...at least a little bit...as today is his first day of teaching...wishing him just an awesome day today...yes he is so lucky to get the job he always wanted...the students are the lucky ones...he will be awesome.....wow...what about me...

still working on my 2 edition of a wild game cookbook...working on a book...was it murder in a small kansas town...the second book was part of my therapy and right now...i have not needed that :) well off to plan some weekend menus...bbq with my family sounds good....and waiting on my new granddaughter to arrive...awesome times  ...have a great day everyone :)

This is SERIOUS....:) Wednesday

Was not sure if i was going to address this on here ...but this is MY blog...it is something i chose to do...it has helped me in many ways...and it is something my granddaughters can read...the good the bad and the ugly...lol...who knows what the future will bring...i never intend to make my life look perfect...nothing in life is perfect...but since starting this blog i have come full circle...events have happened ...that i never could have imagined...i have found me again..i have made my little piece of the world as perfect as i can...to make me and the people i love feel perfect...cause they are to me....

yesterday i really had no idea what to blog about...but after going to my facebook page...several of my friends were playing farmville...all discussing jobs i planned to do around my yard...so i took that idea and blogged about it...i could never play it... i have to stay busy...that does not make me perfect or my life perfect...it was just the truth...as i see it...life is too short...for me anyway...i have real stones to move...dirt and leaves to rake...you get my idea...well back to the point of this blog today...

a friend that i have had since 1st grade has been very angry with me since a posted a status on facebook about the Chick-fil-a ...we all stated our feelings that day...but she just could not let it go...no one was mad at anyone...but she took it too far for me...when she became very childish and called a very dear friend of mine a name...i will add to claim at every turn she is a christian ...her remarks did not show that at all that day...i still was not mad ...we all have our moments...i know i do...but that night she decided to add status after status about me....well she stated she was done with me and never wanted to see me again...but she chose to not delete me as a friend...whatever life goes on...

well yesterday...surprise ...surprise...she read my blog...and she is a farmville player...and she thought this blog was about her...no it wasn't...so she started with the statuses about me again...i chose to not comment on them...if she found pleasure in them...i am glad...she thinks i lie on this blog...and i live in a perfect world...she must not pay attention...read all my blogs...i am so proud of my life...is it perfect...no...but it is mine all mine and it is what i work on every single day...i love my family and my friends...thanks to my friends who messaged me as this played out...she did drop me as friend last night..for the second time...i have mixed feelings...i hope she will find peace in the future...anger and temper towards others is just not healthy...sometimes it helps to talk it out...i hope she is blessed with that soon...this chapter is over...and i so wish her all the best...

i thought my granddaughter may arrive today...she chose not to...which is every girls right...i like that she has a mind of her own...tomorrow is her daddy's first day of teaching..as college starts here tomorrow...so who knows...maybe she will pick tomorrow...have a wonderful  night :)

Cloudy...cooler ...tuesday :)

first let me say...needy men...i think there is a danger that i may be having 1 of my sons returned to me...no not really he is just lucky enough to be married to a wonderful person...that like i, just put up with it....enough said... it is so quiet in this house this morning...michelle is at the gym working out...the housework is all done...and of course laundry is on the line :)...i guess i could be like some of my friends on facebook and turn to games...like farmville...but how do they find time...i can always find something to do...like there are real rocks to move in my yard today...real yard work...i have to stay busy...i have to always get something done everyday...i want something to show for my day...so today...it will be yard work all day...leaves are falling like crazy here ...due to the really hot temps we have had...i am so hoping that everything finds a way to come back next spring...or it looks like i will be doing a lot of landscaping around here... journey may be by later this morning...so she will be my helper girl again today...she came over yesterday and did a chore list...she loves coming over here and helping me clean and do laundry...she even has her own little clothes line...it was all her idea ...she designed it herself and her gaga made it for her...too cute...still waiting for the arrival of my new granddaughter felicity...i know...i know..she will come when she is ready...which is fine...just so excited to see journey with her little sister...she has waited so long.....can't wait to see if she looks like journey...because when journey was born...i had to slap myself...it was a mini mark only wearing a dress...so funny...as journey has grown...i see both mark and kayla in her...she is such a good mix...she loves stuffed animals...dolls..stroller...shopping...dress up...but she also loves legos...star wars...and dinosaurs...well going to cut this blog off...as my granddaughter has arrived and we are going to play store...what a way to start the day...you all have a great day as well :)

Finally Friday :)

yes it is finally friday...been a while ...just enjoying some free time and working on some business plans for the future...we shall see...i will keep you posted...i really meant to post sooner...since some of my readers here are my friends on facebook...i guess last thursday for me took a big turn...when i posted my dislike for chick-fil-a...after receiving many invites to the rally that was to be held on aug. 1...my dislike was not just about the stance on gay marriage...but the amount of money this private company gives to hate groups...yes it is a privately owned co. and they can support any group that they want...but i really think as a christian you would love without judgement..so not the case anymore... i love that we can voice our opinions ...but a friend of mine on facebook ...took it as an insult to her...felt she was picked on...that bothers me...was never meant to be the case...she even called my best friend a name for expressing her feelings...and yes it hit me the wrong way...this was my status....not a place you needed to post or keep coming back to if it bothered you...but when my friend was called a smart ass on my page...it hit me...how dare you... this woman has been my rock...there for me through good and bad...always with the most honest advice...even if sometimes i did not want to hear it... this past year...as most of my friends have heard over and over...was tough...my neighbor terry being murdered...her husband charged...then it went on from there........this friend never left my side....that is a true friend...she has seen me at my best and my worst...she is the only person i can never 1 up...she always does more for me that i can ever do for her... back to the offended friend...when i got defensive on my status to her...she called me out because i had a status a couple of months where i called someone out by using the word b***h and s**t...the difference here was the person i was referring to is not even a friend on facebook...i made a funny status out of someone i really do not care for......it was a status...it was not name calling...the whole thing reminded me of a 6th grade fight between girls...not at all what i had thought would happen....but...life is too short to sweat the small stuff....she and i still remain friends on facebook...for now...she deleted me a couple of years ago for know reason so i guess the ball is in her court....never set out to change anyone's mind....and i value everyone's opinion....just shocked at how some people react...we are grown-ups....and if it is a status you do not like ...just don't go there...but it is my status and i can say what i like... journey is coming over for a play date and lunch today...she is the sweetest thing (most of the time)....and we are all looking so forward to the arrival of miss felicity in the next couple of weeks... my son mark left his job with the county on tuesday...to begin his dream job of teaching graphic design on the college level...so very proud of him...and his students will be so lucky...he will make an awesome teacher...many changes are in store for my family in the next couple weeks...i will keep you posted...i will try and get a post up soon of all the green things we have gotten done here this summer...enjoy your day :) make it a good one...

HOT...HOT...Wednesday in Kansas...

It is another hot day in kansas...it is to reach 107 today...and for the next 10 days it really does not look much better...i think we are going into maybe week 7 with NO rain in sight...i have many trees that are dying...even though i am watering them...and the leaves are falling like crazy...i raked yesterday...that is crazy..

let us back up a bit...to last weekend...michelle re-did my walk-in closet...changes the location of two hanging rods that were in front of each other...i never really got to use one of them...all total i think the project came in at under $50...here are the pictures ...she did a wonderful job...thanks  michelle  :)


                                                                         Before;

After a nice coat of paint, new shelves, and new rods/rod placement.

With all of the clothes put neatly back into the closet!

                                                                

A Tuesday...my body is in Kansas...heart in Princess Anne

Yes... i said it...my body is in kansas today...but my heart is really back home today...first i learned yesterday morning that a friend of mine back home lost her mom...can not imagine the loss...the empty feeling that she must have...but her parents are so much like mine ...married forever...so i know that as deep as her loss is for her mom...her thoughts have to be with her dad...cause i can not think of my mom and dad...without the other...they are a team... always have been...when one is sick the other is always right there to take care of the other....one without the other... to me that will be the hardest part...betsy you are in my thoughts...

the other thing coming to an end is alan's parents are leaving west post office today...to live with alan's oldest sister...so sad to think ...they will probably only return there to be buried...sad thing to say ...but so true...i have a feeling alan's dad left his heart in pr. anne today...that  was his home...all he ever knew...he is also leaving our oldest son...who moved back there over 4 years ago ...to go back to school...and he so looked after them...i feel so sorry for both of them...the bond between them was so strong since that nov. night we walked in the door with him...he was 9 months old...the child we had always wanted...alan's dad talked us into spending the night with them...not going home to our house next door...

see we adopted our first child and he arrived by phone call...we had nothing ready...alan's dad...stayed up the whole night with him...since we had work the next day...and see alan's dad had just been forced to sell a store he had built up and babied for years...our son became the love of his life...right or wrong all the other grandchildren present and future took a back seat...so when we moved out here...they still traveled here to see his special events...and when our son was talked into moving back to live with him...alan's dad took on a new lease on life...i just hope all the decisions that were made ...were the right ones for all involved ...because there were two lives involved cause you can not mend a broken heart :(   i know alan is taking this very hard...second guessing the choice we made to move here...knowing if we still lived there his dad ...would not be moving...for sure on that one...but everything happens for a reason...we wouldn't have our wonderful granddaughter and another one on the way...i will end it on that note...cause ...yes i am crying...and it is too hard to type.......

Beautiful friday the 13th :)

I know it has been a while since i have posted on my blog...my bad...but a good thing for me...i am just feeling so good...i have not felt this jazzed up in over 2 years...6 months...3 days....and being this last year was a scene of a horror story...replayed over and over again...somehow when the one year hit of the death of my neighbor terry and knowing bill passed away in may...that day brought me peace...i carried two white roses over to their grandson with a note ...i know i will never forget that day...but for now i am putting it in my past...and someday...i will figure it out...everything happens for a reason...we shall see...I've started writing a fiction book about the event...it helps me...i hope someday to finish it.... Was It Murder,  in a small kansas town...

i have been so busy...last weekend i had a clothes line put up...and i love it...clothes do not stink ...like i remember them smelling...no bird shit on them...yet...find it very soothing...

this weekend michelle is customizing my walk in closet and re-organizing it...it is a wonderful sized closet...but the lay out was very poor...pictures on this for sure...just a wonderful friday here...you all have a wonderful day as well  :)

HOT...HOT...Tuesday....

another very hot day in kansas...it reached 107 yesterday...we have a couple interested in our home..they will be coming back with their parents on wed. for their third look in 5 days...not sure where that will lead us...but we have turned up the search for a smaller home looked at 4 on sunday...just not a lot out there to choose from...it is so hard ...as much as i want a one story house to think about leaving this house...it has spoiled me...with all the room and a walk-in closet in every room...not like many old homes...it is solid...it wraps its arms around you...you feel safe...

michelle and i went out yesterday with our real estate agent pat dill...we found a 2 bedroom bungalow...that was built in 1920...trim never painted...which i love...but the bedrooms are very small...yes i am spoiled...and the back yard is so small...but i rarely go in the backyard here...unless i am watering or grilling food...i am a front porch person...and this house has a nice little front porch...so we are returning to look at it again today and going to look at a rancher built in 1954 on a lager lot...but i doubt this has much character...looks like my parents home...not that that is a bad thing...i just love the bones you find in an older home...just got to have somewhere to go if ours sells..not sure that it will..i will keep you posted...

today is june 26...it was a year ago today that all hell broke loose around here...a day that has turned me into a different person and made me view things in a very different light...i have been outside this morning had two neighbors talk to me...and yes no mention of what today is...i know i will see bill and terry's grandson...and i will look at him and he will look at me and he will say are you OK and i will look at him and i will say are you OK...that is what we say to each other...we talk about other things... just we know the hurt we feel inside and respect each other...to not ask the questions there are simply to answers for...i will end this by saying...bill loved terry and terry loved bill...that is fact...i know that...whatever happened in that 10 mins was horrible...but today i really know that they are together in a better place..................................

warm and windy ... tuesday

what a warm and windy day today...it was like 95 here today and the winds were gusty...after living in kansas it is something that you never really feel on the east coast ...where i am from...just an odd feeling still to me...

i know it has been over a week since my last post...but i really have done a lot of thinking since my last blog...that was right around my birthday...53...some days i feel really old...some days not so old...i woke up on my birthday feeling kind of sad ...missing my mom and dad...the iced angel food cake...being the queen for the day...when i was young my birthday fell on or near the last day of school...many of those days were spent at the princess anne swim club...and to add to me missing home...alan has had some very good job offers that were very close to our hometown...so there were many what ifs...floating around in my 53 year old brain...my mind ran all day and then... when the sweetest little 3 year old walked into our home with a card she had made for me (with the help of her mama) with a mouse on it...and everyone knows i HATE mice...they make ginny scream....and journey loves it when her ginny screams at mice...her smile and  that laugh as i screamed...priceless...the best gift ever and everyone knows how i feel about presents...at that moment i knew there really is never any going back home ever...this is home ....that little girl completes me and i know in about 9 weeks i will be blessed with another granddaughter...who i have already fallen in love with...this coming from a person who never really wanted grandchildren...

yes i said it...i never wanted my 4 children to grow up and leave our home...it still makes me sad...but i did come to enjoy the neat and clean house...everything in its place...you can not have that with children around...but from the day journey was born she melted this ginny's heart...and it is true when you have had enough...you can send them home...and yes when the house gets a mess...i take it better...cause i am the ginny...journey and i have fun together...and my daughter michelle never has really been around small children and that is funny to watch as well...and it did not take long for journey to know just how to pull her aunt mimi's strings either...journey has really been a journey for me...full circle...and just some how i just know i could never leave her and go home again...i am home ...night all  :)

Hot...breezy...sunday

When i get up in the morning...the first thing i always do is check both my local paper and read the daily times from back home...and as morbid as it is i always read the obituaries...used to be i always new more from my hometown paper...but anymore it is starting to even its self out...but today when i read my hometown paper a death in there just popped out to me Donna Hitch....and time just slipped back 35 years...fresh out of high school...planning to get married...almost through with beauty school...started a new job at Tiffany Hair Salon in salisbury md...

shortly after starting there a girl joined the salon named Donna Hitch joined our team of girls...let me re-phase that...i was the baby there...fresh out of beauty school at 18...you see i was one of the few allowed to attend the wicomico area tech. school..so i passed my state board at 18 and was out doing hair...

the women i worked with at tiffany's took this girl under there wings...donna hitch was the closest to my age and she was 10 years older than me...does not seem like alot of difference now..but then to an 18 year old...for 6 years they were a big part of my life we shared good times and bad with each other...just like a family...first thing i learned was not to tell any customer my age...no one wanted an 18 year old cutting their hair..so i added 4 years on to my age...it worked...customers were a lot more trusting...lol......our team leader was peggy trader (donohoe) she owned the salon along beside her mother -in-law and sister-in-law...they were so good to us...i worked with marion lawson (wife of tom lawson from crisfield md)...virginia baker (mother of ed baker)...hazel justice...brenda thomas...and several others that came and went....we attended hair shows together...it was while working there i found out that i would probably never have any children...so it became plan there that we told everyone that i was planning to adopt...and have them spread the word as well...in 1977 getting a baby was very hard...

i left tiffany's after 4 years to open my own shop in my hometown of pr. anne...about three months after leaving tiffanys i got a call from a customer of marions...she had found someone at a shelter wanting to give up their 9 month old baby...and that baby became our son...

we all grew apart as time passed...i am sure our age difference played a part in that as well...it is amazing how reading donna hitch's obituary brought back a flood of memories...she was only 62 and taken by the big C...she leaves her husband gary...son michael and two grandchildren...she and her husband flipped houses before it was popular...she was a wonderful decorator...and always with a smile...a great lost....just got me to thinking...35 years ago...wow...good night everyone  :(

Hot and Steamy Monday :)

wow...got up this morning to do a day of yard work...usually always do this on thursday...but it just did not need it...i started at 8:30 this morning...and it was just steamy hot...i sweated the whole day...i finished about 2:30...but i thought of so many things to do in the back yard...but can not decide if i want to put any additions to the yard with it being on the market...i got everything done outside...but i need to sweep the brick road in front of my house...and you ask why...cause my neighbors do...they are anal...about their yard...will handle this tomorrow..


alan got another resume' sent off...a job he is really interested in...hope it works out...

saw journey last night after they got home from a mini bacation (thats what journey calls vacation)...she had a wonderful time...they went to kansas city to lego land...she is a lego lover...gets that from her daddy...she went to dino camp last week and this week she is starting swimming lessons...busy girl...love it that they keep her busy...she is just growing up too fast....and it is so hard to believe that in aug. our family will grow and felicity  will join us...journey has been excited since the day she found out she was going to be a big sister...i so hope the will grow up to be close...i really never had that with my sister and the older we get...i think the farther apart we get...sad but so true...i have always tried to be there for her but...i just have never had that returned..but that is ok...i am very blessed with some very close friends that i hold very dear and i have an x-sister-in-law in florida...that i have stayed in contact with...we do not get to talk often ...but she is just one of those people...you can just pick right up with...i so hope to get a visit in with her this summer...michelle really wants to go to florida ...so hoping Michelle's dog does some improving...so we can get away....off  to go get some munchies...just what i need  :)  have a great night....

Quiet Saturday Morning

the weather here the last couple of days has been kinda chilly...i really wanted to turn the heat on for a few minutes last night...i was cold...but i did not do it...got up early to hit a few yard sales...nothing at all out there...i even had to wear a long sleeve shirt ...it has a chill in the air for sure this morning...

had a great night last night...had mark, kayla and journey over for dinner and bessert (as journey calls it) ...it was kayla's 28th birthday...oh to be that young again...no not really..i am happy where i am right now...did you all just read that...happy....

journey had a busy week ...she went in the afternoons to dinosaur camp...she loves them as much as her daddy did...she had a great time...i was worried that she would not want to be left ...since she is usually with me or her parents...except for sunday school...but she did great...which is both happy and sad...she is growing up way too fast...seems like yesterday she was a baby...on the other hand she is going to start pre-school in the fall...so i am relieved she made out so well...i think she starts swimming lessons in a week or two...

i need to get a few things done around here today...not sure what...but i will get into something ...that is for sure...i can not sit still...i do need to run to wal-mart...that is a place i dread to go...i can not get out of there for under $100....the worst part about today is i have no idea what to cook or grill...nothing sounds good to me at all...off now to try and get busy...will hit back later maybe and fill you in on how i filled my day...that should be interesting...

IT"S FRIDAY...TGIF

Today is my daughter-in-laws birthday...so i hope kayla has a wonderful birthday and i am so happy that she will celebrate it with us this evening...i am so very lucky kayla and i have a wonderful relationship ...we have worked to make it that way...

you see it will be 6 years ago on june the 3rd that my son mark married kayla... as as much as i loved her...the thought of losing my son was heartbreaking...i have three wonderful sons and love each one in a very different way...but mark was my helper man since the day he was born...the squishy one...would always nuggie with you...he was the most like me...wears his heart on the outside as well as the inside...i think it was the reality that ...none of my boys would ever move back home...mark and kayla would be living in wichita...he would be finishing his last year at WSU ...michelle and i would be left rambling around this big old house even more...alan was not home a lot...this wedding was happy in many ways ...but my heart was broken...i realized at that point that I DO NOT SHARE WELL WITH OTHERS...i was sharing many things at that point in my life that i did not want to share...the following year i enjoyed their visits back to ark city...and i was so lucky they always stayed here...so damn lucky...as the year ended they decided to move back to ark city and make it their home ...they moved in with us in may ...kayla was hired as a 4th grade teacher and mark went to work for the school system as well (he now works for the county)...and they began their search for a new home...which they found and bought...alan and i helped all we could to turn this house into a home...we had a ball. and so the bonding process began...kayla put her heart and soul into the work that needed to be done on this house...and they were able to move into the house in aug...although the work still cont. on this house until they sold it a year ago...and bought a huge 2 story home...which is a work in progress...by this time journey had arrived and all of our lives centered on her...

kayla works as a teacher and i have been lucky enough to spend my days with journey...and i do think it was hard for kayla to share in the beginning...but we both know sharing is not easy...we both have found a way to make it work for our family...and i can say i do not want mark back anymore...and i love my ginny time but as happy as i am to see her in mornings with that smile...i am so glad to see kayla arrive to pick her up in the afternoon...i know now why you have kids when you are young...so see sharing is a good thing :)

happy birthday kayla and happy anniversary to mark and kayla and i am thankful they include us in their family of three...soon to be four (can not wait for the arrival of felicity) you all go out and have a wonderful day :)

Awesome Thursday Morning :)

Last night we had a couple of storms go through here but nothing severe...and we got some much needed rain ...which means no watering and by that i mean no pulling around a watering hose...a job i dislike...it is just beautiful here today...it is almost noon here and it is only 64 degrees...love it... there was a yard sale on the block behind our home so michelle and i walked over to it this morning and it felt chilly...it was a waste of time...but i always enjoy my walks with her...we both have had a quiet morning and have much work to do on our blogs and other computer work we have to do... i am going to wait until monday to start laying out the wild game cookbook...i had decided to do nothing my first week of summer break...but i have gotten some things started...need to re-arrange furniture in the living room as we just got rid of one of our sofas...and i have a closed door shelving unite upstairs that alan re-purposed using a wooden shelf and some old shutters ...had it upstairs going to move it down here for journey to use as her storage cabinet for some of her toys...i think it will help her when pick-up time comes ...right now her toys are kinda spread out over three rooms...and lets not forget as she puts it ...you need some baby toys here for my new baby...and i do need to start picking up some...hard to believe she will be here by the end of summer "Miss Felicity " ...for awhile it just did not seem to fit for me ...but after her 3D sonogram...it fits her and now i have a name for that beautiful face...can't wait to see if she is a mini journey...a head full of hair :) i really am starting to feel good..sounds odd to admit...but ALL the events of last year mainly and some that were lingering from a couple of previous years are really seeming to fade...they will never be completely gone ...never forgotten...but more filed...those events are making me for the future..whatever it holds...toxic friends and family and events are no longer needed...feels good ...going to really work on learning to put me first...not easy for me as my kids have always been first...oh hell i have always put everyone before me...that i do not think i will be so good at changing...okay lets rephrase that...i will always put certain people first...but being the door mat for ANYONE is out... have not planned meals for the week yet...so i am not sure of dinner for the night...and i need to sort out my coupons ...cause i know a lot expire today...then i will decide if i need to run to the store to use them this evening...i will try and post some pictures later tonight...enjoy this beautiful day :)

I AM BACK....

I am back and now i will explain why i have not posted in over a month...i was given a chance to take my blog public...with ads and the right to have me blog on certain topics...not of my choice some days...in order to do that...i would have to change some things about my blog...thought about it long and hard...made me feel good that i could do that...this blog is read more than i could ever imagine possible...so that is a good feeling...i will be back at blogging full time today...lots of pictures of things we have done to decorate our home ...as it is back on the market..but the market here is not very good...i will be joining twitter soon and hope to have a web page up and running in the next two weeks ..with lots of pictures and recipes... after much thought i have pulled out the plans to finish my wild game recipe book...i wrote the first one over twenty years ago to help pay off our daughter's nicu bill...it was a sell out and her bills left over after insurance were paid off as well...as i write today i am looking at my shih tzu max ...she has been such a good thing added to my life this year... i will just mention this because i have talked about it on this blog before...my neighbor bill passed away about a week ago...he was charged with the murder of his wife terry almost a year ago...he was as much in love with her as she was with him...just a sad day...no one will really ever have the answer but...they are together again...he never went to trial but was able to move to texas near his brother and live in an assisted living facility for the last six months...thanks to his brother, wonderful lawyers and i hope in some small way i helped...bill was a good person...i will end with that... i hope you all have a lot planned for the summer...we hope to head to maryland for a visit and i really want to go to florida to see my favorite X sister in law...we have always tried to stay in touch and i think the world of her :) this summer is full of changes for our family...journey is preparing to attend pre-school in the fall...she will be getting a new sister in aug. named felicity...michelle has several projects going on ...and i hope to include some of them in my blog as well...the biggest change is alan is dusting off the old resume'...he became an energy manager two years ago and then has been working under a two year grant for three cities in kansas...that ends the first of oct. and with money so tight right now in city government...there is really no way they can afford him...so it has always been his hope to take the added knowledge of the energy manager and combine it with the the 35 years of HVAC experience and come up with something interesting to work in until retirement...so we shall see how it goes...off to have some me time...have a wonderful afternoon :)

odd Monday...for sure :)

It has been awhile for sure...i have been very busy getting our house on the market...we have decided we want to downsize to a one story...just want a new challenge for sure...kind of a clean slate...we shall see...

i have been trying to get our yard work done for the spring and flower beds planted...and just trying to sort some things out...let us just move on ...we can do that...it is MY blog...i can do whatever i want on here i like that...

i got up this morning all was well ...checked my email...and took a slap to the face...have thought about it all day...really brought me very down...why i did not really know...it was nothing i did not already know...

then this evening kayla called asked if we wanted to see all of her gifts so got at her baby shower...given by the staff at her school...journey had gone down to school to attend the baby shower...she really got some cute things...i loved getting to see everything...

journey is so excited about her new little sister and kayla includes her in everything about her new little sister and i love that...journey is soo excited...yes there will be some changes...but i so think journey will be so ready for them...she is really protective and so full of love for her little sister :)

after i got home i was feeling better...and then my neighbor...the young man...who lives in his grandparents home beside me...called me over and gave me the most wonderful gift...a wonderful wrought iron table and chairs...that have been in their backyard since i moved here 7 years ago...not a cheap table but an old heavy table and chairs...i have wanted them forever...but his grandparents never used them...but they are the type to never sell...i never asked...but tonight they became a gift from his heart...he owes me nothing...he is the only person that has had a rough 10 months...much worse than i have had...you see we both deal with that day 06/26/2011...for i know he struggles alone...i have had support from most of my family...and a very dear friend...and let us not forget my therapy dog...maxi...who today is also thrilled with the surprise gift...after being held and rubbed most of the day today....she is thankful she still has hair ...she so loves being groomed by her groomer miss crissy....there is a peace in my backyard...strange thing to say...there is peace in my heart tonight...going to spend tomorrow working in my backyard ...making room for my new table and chairs :) goodnight all ...

Just a Beautiful Tuesday...

I was not sure if i was going to post tonight...but after reading a few things tonight ...better to vent here than anywhere...good to have things back to normal...journey is back after having a week that was ginny free...now i did see her...i am lucky that way two days is sort of my limit or i go into journey withdraw...but i was able to get a lot done...and i worked on helping michelle plan her 2nd business venture...as aunt mimi...it will be an awesome business for her and i will help in anyway that i can...she is hoping to get it off the ground by june...

last week i received an invitation to a shower...i know not a big deal...but have you ever been invited to a place that you just knew you were not welcome...well i just have been and i have done a lot of soul searching on this one...you never bothered to tell me about your first daughter and not about this one...so why invite me to a shower...i have been through a lot this year and after a lot of soul searching...i will not be attending...you and your family are always welcome here...but i have promised myself never go anywhere that i am not wanted...life is just too short...i have lived that long enough...i have found a way to breathe again...a life with no drama...it has been so hard...i have found my peace...it may not include all of my loved ones ..but they made a choice...not me... i have been there...always...but i am so learning ...all things happen for a reason...you may not get it for awhile...but sooner or later...you see the whole picture...enough said ...do i feel better...maybe...i guess in the end it is what it is...last night was the worst night sleep i did not shut my eyes...then about 3:30...i heard maxi whimper in her bed...so i scooped her up put her in my bed and she fell asleep in my arms ...it was so peaceful..she went sound asleep...i just laid beside her thinking what a gift...the kind that keep on giving...she really expects nothing me...that is kinda nice...just to be loved and have that kind of trust...even with a bad nights sleep...it was great to see morning with my little shih tuz in my arms :)you too have probably had enough of my two cents worth...but it is my blog...so i can say what ever i want...love you all have a wonderful night and an even better tomorrow....

Happy Wednesday Everyone :)

I have been searching for something...i can't explain it but i think i have found it...michelle is going to be the boss but i am soo excited and i think she is too...just such an awesome venture for both of us together...can't wait to share our new venture...but it will have to wait just a while longer....may not be the best time to down size ...but everything happens for a reason :) back at you all later ...

Rainy Tuesday Here....

Such a rainy week so far...and it is spring break here..so i have the week off from keeping journey...as much as i miss her ...i have gotten a lot done...really it is only tuesday and i have all the things done that i wanted and needed to get done...feels good...going to work on meal planning for a month...

i think i spend too much at the store sometimes even with couponing...so this month staring today i am writing down everything i spend and where...doing a shopping trip to sams club the end of the week...to stock up...meat in our local grocery stores have just not been looking to good...we use a lot of vegetables ...just would like to save a little bit more if i can...we shall see...how it goes...

michelle just baked a coffee cake and it smells so good...i think a slice of it and a cup of coffee is calling my name...and a chat with my beautiful daughter...that's the best part :)...i leave here today hoping some sunshine is on it's way...enjoy your afternoon...

Just a Beautiful Monday :)

Today was just beautiful... after a very rainy sunday...so good to see the sun out...michelle started what will the last three sessions of her dental work...it should all be done by april 5th...her teeth are turning out just perfect...soo glad :) and i think she is happy with them too...

it was a busy day here...as always...journey was a big helper girl this morning with the cleaning chores...she ate a great lunch...but did not want a nap...she is almost 3 1/2 not sure she is ready to give up a nap...but i know i am not ready to have her give them up...t gives me a break for some things i need to do...doing return emails from my blog...returning phone calls...and such...we shall see how she does the rest of the week and see what her mom wants to do...i am thinking if she gives up the nap...maybe set the timer for 60 minutes of quiet time in her bed...with books ...we shall see :) it will all work out...it always does...

michelle cooked dinner tonight...it was so good egg rolls and stir fried pork with a salad...trying to keep everything perfect in the house just in case we have a house showing...it has been on the market about 6 days and nothing yet...maybe i was expecting too much too soon..but i am ready to start the next chapter in my life and to do that i need to move on...and that means selling this house...and then finding the perfect fixer-upper ...half the size of the one we live in now...got some big plans on the new house...very different for this house...i love this house so much ...just time to move on...

plan on cleaning out the store room with michelle tomorrow...we are trying to get rid of anything that we know we do not want to move...without leaving a bare spot in the house we are trying to sell...we really plan to not move a whole lot...so a big sale is for sure before we move...i can not wait....sell baby sell...see you all back here tomorrow :)

It is Thursday...and where have I been ???????

Where have i been...busy ...after a lot of talking we have decided to put our house back on the market...we want a one story home...as we did last year...but there were many reasons it was best to pull our house off the market last year...but...after being sick several weeks ago...we all decided to sell...it went on the market on monday with a 13,000 price reduction...much to the dismay of our realtor...but we will still do ok and i think in this market...it will make our house stand out...all i can say is sell baby sell...so ready for a new project...this was to be a project house too...but i fell in love with it and it's history...alan was working 24/7 when we bought it...so it became my safe haven and our boys were in college and loved coming home to this house..a lot has changed and it is now time to move on...

to all of you that have emailed me...i will try and explain my new cleaning system...one that i used years ago back in maryland when my kids were little...i have suggested it to michelle for this house ...but she did not go for it until now...we have always cleaned this house every 2 weeks from top to bottom and vacuumed and maintained in between...it is a long hard day...washer and dryer never stops as we also wash every blanket...rug...sheet in this house...i got to where i hated that day and felt sick by the end ...

the system we are now using is using an index card system...here goes...

you clean one room a day monday through friday and then the following week i do a room a day...then start over...each day you pull a card and put it to the back of your card system...so you always know what you are to do...every morning i run the vacuum through the downstairs and pick up...by doing this by 9 in the morning my house is perfect..this task is filed under daily in my file system...just the way i like it...

then i have a weekly file in there i have all the things i do once a week such as change sheets...clean french doors...wash storm door windows...

then i have a monthly file....each month is in there and i include all holiday change outs...scrubbing all outside storm door windows...things that do not need to be done every week...making laundry detergent and fabric softener...but i want to keep ahead of...the key is always remove the card and place to the back of its file section...this works...the house is always perfect and even michelle admits it is easier...and with our house on the market and could be shown at any time this system really works...and it is so simple...

at the back of my file box ..i have all of the recipes for my natural cleaning aids...

years ago i used 3x5 index cards and a metal box...you cannot buy a metal index box anywhere...and the plastic ones do not hold up...so we found a wicker basket and it looks cute out...i hope this helps...i will post a picture...have a great night :)

Happy Tuesday...everyone :)

I am working up to a blog on my new cleaning system...just not ready to blog about it today...so i was looking for a blog topic...one word i said to my daughter michelle...she threw out the word respect....something i think a person has to earn...and once you lose it for someone...it is next to impossible to ever gain it back again...

i have always been a mom that so respects her children...children have so much to offer and i so respect their honesty...if we could just keep that honesty with us through our lives...but we do not...as parents i think respect must be earned as well...but i do believe that our kids are very influenced by their friends...and sometimes that is hard to handle...

my friends...i have several friends that i think the world of...would miss not hearing from them...even if it is only on facebook...they are true friends to me...but i have two best friends one here in kansas and one back in pr. anne...i never really thought much about how much they really meant to me until i really hit my lowest 2 years...1 month...17 days ago....i realized then it was my respect for them that allowed our friendships to be real and honest...respect....you want your children to respect their teachers...but that too must be earned...on both sides...i guess i really believe that respect is something that we all want but it MUST be earned...and never put into question...because once it is lost ...you may never get it back :) enjoy your night...sounds like storms are a coming in south central kansas...till tomorrow :)

It's Monday and I am Back...sort of....

i really do not know what to tell you i am back from... but i am back...just feeling so tired not like me at all...this flu kicked the shit right out of me...i guess...just tired and it has left my right ear plugged up ...how i do not know...guess from all the puking...lol...i am deaf in the one ear...it is driving me nuts...

i have been working on a lot of things around here...michelle and i got the yard all cleaned up in two days ...saturday and sunday...which is really quick...it usually takes the whole week of spring break...so we are really ahead for now...we always end up with a lot of leaves from fall and branches...it looks good...just got to get warmer to plant...and i still say winter will kick us in the ass in march...we have had just a mild winter...not kansas like at all...the temps have been so mild...we have been so lucky...

i have also come up with a new cleaning plan for this house...doing it all in one day is a killer...i will explain in a blog later in the week...also have gotten back into weekly meal planning...more on that later...

my mind last week has been on some family events that occurred over the last couple of weeks back home...i hate being so far from home sometimes ...yes a job moved us here...and our kids loved it here...there are so many educational benefits for children here...i just can not explain it...not maybe that the education is better... that is all in what teachers you have...but there is a push here to help children achieve their educational goals...that is just not the case back home...most students in our county can get at least an associates degree...this is in the form of scholarships that are not financially based...they are probably the two main reasons we stayed here...but there were others as well...

hard to admit but...i have always had an open door and any of our family that wanted to come visit were more than welcome...a few took us up on it...it was much easier for them to come here...than us to go home...with 4 kids in school...college and all the activities they were in...but i took some hits over the last couple of weeks ...while i was sick...that just got to me...how quick people forget all that you have done for them over the years before the move out here...you can treat me like crap i really do not care...BUT DO NOT CRAP ON MY DAUGHTER...cause you do not know her...you are too busy in your own life to give a damn...not once did you offer to be by her bed side as she fought for her life or come help me when i needed someone...your choice in your lifestyle i do not understand and will never ...you wonder why i distance myself sometimes...cause you are so willing to help in your church but at the time you failed to see my need for help...you just...enough i will go on...over it ...and i am thinking hit the delete...but this blog is about me ...all about me...the everyday events in a 52 year old woman's life... whose children were her whole life...the reason for being...and one by one they leave and you go on...a grandmom.. a role of over 3 years to an awesome little girl...

a crazy old lady...that just realized why she has not blogged in a week...i knew i would go to a place i did not want to go...and i will end on this note...DO NOT VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT....just saying...and if no one else will say it i will...not a religion we need governing our country...yes i know...i know this...it is not all about family...this blog is over for tonight...back tomorrow with a better attitude...my new cleaning plan...have a good night :)