HOT...HOT...Tuesday....

another very hot day in kansas...it reached 107 yesterday...we have a couple interested in our home..they will be coming back with their parents on wed. for their third look in 5 days...not sure where that will lead us...but we have turned up the search for a smaller home looked at 4 on sunday...just not a lot out there to choose from...it is so hard ...as much as i want a one story house to think about leaving this house...it has spoiled me...with all the room and a walk-in closet in every room...not like many old homes...it is solid...it wraps its arms around you...you feel safe...

michelle and i went out yesterday with our real estate agent pat dill...we found a 2 bedroom bungalow...that was built in 1920...trim never painted...which i love...but the bedrooms are very small...yes i am spoiled...and the back yard is so small...but i rarely go in the backyard here...unless i am watering or grilling food...i am a front porch person...and this house has a nice little front porch...so we are returning to look at it again today and going to look at a rancher built in 1954 on a lager lot...but i doubt this has much character...looks like my parents home...not that that is a bad thing...i just love the bones you find in an older home...just got to have somewhere to go if ours sells..not sure that it will..i will keep you posted...

today is june 26...it was a year ago today that all hell broke loose around here...a day that has turned me into a different person and made me view things in a very different light...i have been outside this morning had two neighbors talk to me...and yes no mention of what today is...i know i will see bill and terry's grandson...and i will look at him and he will look at me and he will say are you OK and i will look at him and i will say are you OK...that is what we say to each other...we talk about other things... just we know the hurt we feel inside and respect each other...to not ask the questions there are simply to answers for...i will end this by saying...bill loved terry and terry loved bill...that is fact...i know that...whatever happened in that 10 mins was horrible...but today i really know that they are together in a better place..................................

warm and windy ... tuesday

what a warm and windy day today...it was like 95 here today and the winds were gusty...after living in kansas it is something that you never really feel on the east coast ...where i am from...just an odd feeling still to me...

i know it has been over a week since my last post...but i really have done a lot of thinking since my last blog...that was right around my birthday...53...some days i feel really old...some days not so old...i woke up on my birthday feeling kind of sad ...missing my mom and dad...the iced angel food cake...being the queen for the day...when i was young my birthday fell on or near the last day of school...many of those days were spent at the princess anne swim club...and to add to me missing home...alan has had some very good job offers that were very close to our hometown...so there were many what ifs...floating around in my 53 year old brain...my mind ran all day and then... when the sweetest little 3 year old walked into our home with a card she had made for me (with the help of her mama) with a mouse on it...and everyone knows i HATE mice...they make ginny scream....and journey loves it when her ginny screams at mice...her smile and  that laugh as i screamed...priceless...the best gift ever and everyone knows how i feel about presents...at that moment i knew there really is never any going back home ever...this is home ....that little girl completes me and i know in about 9 weeks i will be blessed with another granddaughter...who i have already fallen in love with...this coming from a person who never really wanted grandchildren...

yes i said it...i never wanted my 4 children to grow up and leave our home...it still makes me sad...but i did come to enjoy the neat and clean house...everything in its place...you can not have that with children around...but from the day journey was born she melted this ginny's heart...and it is true when you have had enough...you can send them home...and yes when the house gets a mess...i take it better...cause i am the ginny...journey and i have fun together...and my daughter michelle never has really been around small children and that is funny to watch as well...and it did not take long for journey to know just how to pull her aunt mimi's strings either...journey has really been a journey for me...full circle...and just some how i just know i could never leave her and go home again...i am home ...night all  :)

Hot...breezy...sunday

When i get up in the morning...the first thing i always do is check both my local paper and read the daily times from back home...and as morbid as it is i always read the obituaries...used to be i always new more from my hometown paper...but anymore it is starting to even its self out...but today when i read my hometown paper a death in there just popped out to me Donna Hitch....and time just slipped back 35 years...fresh out of high school...planning to get married...almost through with beauty school...started a new job at Tiffany Hair Salon in salisbury md...

shortly after starting there a girl joined the salon named Donna Hitch joined our team of girls...let me re-phase that...i was the baby there...fresh out of beauty school at 18...you see i was one of the few allowed to attend the wicomico area tech. school..so i passed my state board at 18 and was out doing hair...

the women i worked with at tiffany's took this girl under there wings...donna hitch was the closest to my age and she was 10 years older than me...does not seem like alot of difference now..but then to an 18 year old...for 6 years they were a big part of my life we shared good times and bad with each other...just like a family...first thing i learned was not to tell any customer my age...no one wanted an 18 year old cutting their hair..so i added 4 years on to my age...it worked...customers were a lot more trusting...lol......our team leader was peggy trader (donohoe) she owned the salon along beside her mother -in-law and sister-in-law...they were so good to us...i worked with marion lawson (wife of tom lawson from crisfield md)...virginia baker (mother of ed baker)...hazel justice...brenda thomas...and several others that came and went....we attended hair shows together...it was while working there i found out that i would probably never have any children...so it became plan there that we told everyone that i was planning to adopt...and have them spread the word as well...in 1977 getting a baby was very hard...

i left tiffany's after 4 years to open my own shop in my hometown of pr. anne...about three months after leaving tiffanys i got a call from a customer of marions...she had found someone at a shelter wanting to give up their 9 month old baby...and that baby became our son...

we all grew apart as time passed...i am sure our age difference played a part in that as well...it is amazing how reading donna hitch's obituary brought back a flood of memories...she was only 62 and taken by the big C...she leaves her husband gary...son michael and two grandchildren...she and her husband flipped houses before it was popular...she was a wonderful decorator...and always with a smile...a great lost....just got me to thinking...35 years ago...wow...good night everyone  :(

Hot and Steamy Monday :)

wow...got up this morning to do a day of yard work...usually always do this on thursday...but it just did not need it...i started at 8:30 this morning...and it was just steamy hot...i sweated the whole day...i finished about 2:30...but i thought of so many things to do in the back yard...but can not decide if i want to put any additions to the yard with it being on the market...i got everything done outside...but i need to sweep the brick road in front of my house...and you ask why...cause my neighbors do...they are anal...about their yard...will handle this tomorrow..


alan got another resume' sent off...a job he is really interested in...hope it works out...

saw journey last night after they got home from a mini bacation (thats what journey calls vacation)...she had a wonderful time...they went to kansas city to lego land...she is a lego lover...gets that from her daddy...she went to dino camp last week and this week she is starting swimming lessons...busy girl...love it that they keep her busy...she is just growing up too fast....and it is so hard to believe that in aug. our family will grow and felicity  will join us...journey has been excited since the day she found out she was going to be a big sister...i so hope the will grow up to be close...i really never had that with my sister and the older we get...i think the farther apart we get...sad but so true...i have always tried to be there for her but...i just have never had that returned..but that is ok...i am very blessed with some very close friends that i hold very dear and i have an x-sister-in-law in florida...that i have stayed in contact with...we do not get to talk often ...but she is just one of those people...you can just pick right up with...i so hope to get a visit in with her this summer...michelle really wants to go to florida ...so hoping Michelle's dog does some improving...so we can get away....off  to go get some munchies...just what i need  :)  have a great night....

Quiet Saturday Morning

the weather here the last couple of days has been kinda chilly...i really wanted to turn the heat on for a few minutes last night...i was cold...but i did not do it...got up early to hit a few yard sales...nothing at all out there...i even had to wear a long sleeve shirt ...it has a chill in the air for sure this morning...

had a great night last night...had mark, kayla and journey over for dinner and bessert (as journey calls it) ...it was kayla's 28th birthday...oh to be that young again...no not really..i am happy where i am right now...did you all just read that...happy....

journey had a busy week ...she went in the afternoons to dinosaur camp...she loves them as much as her daddy did...she had a great time...i was worried that she would not want to be left ...since she is usually with me or her parents...except for sunday school...but she did great...which is both happy and sad...she is growing up way too fast...seems like yesterday she was a baby...on the other hand she is going to start pre-school in the fall...so i am relieved she made out so well...i think she starts swimming lessons in a week or two...

i need to get a few things done around here today...not sure what...but i will get into something ...that is for sure...i can not sit still...i do need to run to wal-mart...that is a place i dread to go...i can not get out of there for under $100....the worst part about today is i have no idea what to cook or grill...nothing sounds good to me at all...off now to try and get busy...will hit back later maybe and fill you in on how i filled my day...that should be interesting...

IT"S FRIDAY...TGIF

Today is my daughter-in-laws birthday...so i hope kayla has a wonderful birthday and i am so happy that she will celebrate it with us this evening...i am so very lucky kayla and i have a wonderful relationship ...we have worked to make it that way...

you see it will be 6 years ago on june the 3rd that my son mark married kayla... as as much as i loved her...the thought of losing my son was heartbreaking...i have three wonderful sons and love each one in a very different way...but mark was my helper man since the day he was born...the squishy one...would always nuggie with you...he was the most like me...wears his heart on the outside as well as the inside...i think it was the reality that ...none of my boys would ever move back home...mark and kayla would be living in wichita...he would be finishing his last year at WSU ...michelle and i would be left rambling around this big old house even more...alan was not home a lot...this wedding was happy in many ways ...but my heart was broken...i realized at that point that I DO NOT SHARE WELL WITH OTHERS...i was sharing many things at that point in my life that i did not want to share...the following year i enjoyed their visits back to ark city...and i was so lucky they always stayed here...so damn lucky...as the year ended they decided to move back to ark city and make it their home ...they moved in with us in may ...kayla was hired as a 4th grade teacher and mark went to work for the school system as well (he now works for the county)...and they began their search for a new home...which they found and bought...alan and i helped all we could to turn this house into a home...we had a ball. and so the bonding process began...kayla put her heart and soul into the work that needed to be done on this house...and they were able to move into the house in aug...although the work still cont. on this house until they sold it a year ago...and bought a huge 2 story home...which is a work in progress...by this time journey had arrived and all of our lives centered on her...

kayla works as a teacher and i have been lucky enough to spend my days with journey...and i do think it was hard for kayla to share in the beginning...but we both know sharing is not easy...we both have found a way to make it work for our family...and i can say i do not want mark back anymore...and i love my ginny time but as happy as i am to see her in mornings with that smile...i am so glad to see kayla arrive to pick her up in the afternoon...i know now why you have kids when you are young...so see sharing is a good thing :)

happy birthday kayla and happy anniversary to mark and kayla and i am thankful they include us in their family of three...soon to be four (can not wait for the arrival of felicity) you all go out and have a wonderful day :)