Odd kind of Tuesday :)

I am so tired today...did not sleep well last night...maxi's stitches were bothering her so much...and i just had a lot of thoughts running though my mind...not bad not good...just wish i had some answers about the events that kind of ended yesterday ...with my neighbors...on with it...time to just get over it :)

today is january 10, 2012...it was 2 years ago to the day that all of this downer stuff with me started...at 10:14 pm to be exact...a sunday night...i learned something...that i had known for over 5 years...strange isn't it...since that night it has taken over every day of my being...then when i had had enough of the constant depression and decided to do something about it...a summer of ME ME ME...and then the events of june 26, 2011...left me stuck in my house with what seemed forever...and so much time to think...and think and think...where my true friends never asked the question during those prior months ... but were always there to listen...if and when i wanted to talk...

my daughter became my caregiver in many ways... not just for the summer ...but the months before that...but it was during last summer when i just wanted to be home...in my 4 walls...not on my favorite spot... my front porch...i decided...yes everything does happen for a reason... i got rid of some friends that pull me down...always negative...users...never giving anything back...the takers..what a weight to be lifted...

my granddaughter who has always been such a joy to me...grew to a wonderful...thoughtful little girl...who showed how much she loved me...she knew somehow i needed that...my son mark and his wife kayla were always there too...in many ways i think they knew...i was teetering on breakage...a really scary thing for me...always the rock for my family...but the last 18 months...just had been too much...and alan ...i just think he knew...we talked...he listened more than anything...but somehow i have made it full circle the closure of the last 2 years with all it's ups and downs...i am so me again...need some rest...but it is good to be me again :)

there will always be things in your life you will not forget...but forgiving is a good thing...look around...i bet with you too...what you are looking for in life is probably right under your nose...we just need the time to find it...it will make you stronger in the end...really...i promise...going to go find my family and all of our 4 legged babies...and count my blessings...life is good..not always perfect or easy....night all...as a friend said to me yesterday...sleep well and tomorrow is a NEW day ........................